I've thought over a lot of things and made some decisions due to unforeseen circumstances. Some adjustments will have to be made eventually, so why not start from now? It's now or never, as the band Kick! would sing.

As much as I always preach on the importance of striking a balance in whatever I do, I've not had much success with regards to relationships, either work-wise or personal ones. I've come to realise that nowadays I tend to gravitate towards seriousness and coolness. It's scary to a certain extent because the mentioned traits sorta diminishes the warmth between people and me.

It's like people are afraid to approach or talk to me if not for work commitments. As a result, tension and uneasiness arise, which adds up to a whole lot of silence and fragmented meetings.

It's partly my fault for not opening up more of my personal self, even to those close to me, for fear of being vulnerable and taken advantage of. Boils down to insecurity again, doesn't it? Well, I suppose I can't please everyone but I'm slowly changing that. I know it's not good to hide so much of oneself such that you lose your identity, so that's why I'm aiming to be a combination of professionalism and niceness, especially like my two colleagues Mrs Y and Mrs M. :)

Of course, many of my colleagues are just as professional and nice, but the above-mentioned really epitomise the essence of the two traits.

Humour is good. :)

I'm afraid I've been rambling such that I've lost whatever point I tried to make. Oh well, no worries. The main thing is that those around me are aware that I am doing my best to strike a fair deal.

Dear God, please give me strength. Amen.