I'm sorry I haven't been calling to talk about you much. Work and family matters are burning me out, not to mention the wedding preparation and a thousand and one things that are buzzing in my mind. I'm trying my best to clear them ASAP and I worry/fidget that I'm not doing them right nor fast enough. Seriously, sometimes I feel like caving in or throwing in the towel but then again, that's not having spirit at all. I know I can do it and I definitely will.

I'm putting my mind to it.

I'm sorry if it seems that I'm neglecting you. Truth be told, I do miss you and I long to have a proper date with you. I wanted to ask you out, just the two of us on a normal night after work, but I keep thinking that you'll say no or that you'll sound reluctant. And that scares me. (I know, I know...I'm giving up without even trying right?)

I'm afraid of us turning stagnant. I like to think that I can be spontaneous but somehow, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I don't deny that I like to think through details sometimes and over analysing causes me to procrastinate, which makes it seem as if I'm uninterested. Which is untrue because I am VERY MUCH INTERESTED in you. I get bothered when I smell your scent sometimes and you're not there beside me.

I have this fear that your work will take priority over me someday. I also fear that I will turn out to be as such! It's so scary to be so chained to work, i.e. fretting over datelines, losing interest and passion due to a pushy environment, foregoing a social life because of the worry over incomplete stuff etc. Argh! Sometimes I feel as if I can go mad! I long to talk to you and tell you everything on my mind but then I'm afraid that you'll be bored to tears or that I'm burdening you with my load when you've already too much on your plate.

Sigh. I just want a simple life.

Well, I hope that I'll be able to overcome the next one and a half months with patience, determination and perseverance. (I sure need all the prayers all I can get.)