And I don't know why but somehow I'm suddenly reminded by my birthday this year. (You guys are probably thinking, why the heck is she starting on about her birthday which was about 2 bloody months back??) I don't mean to sound ungrateful nor mean, but despite receiving gifts and whatnots, which I totally appreciate and all, those weren't what I'd really wanted. I'd wanted to spend my birthday with good company, people I call friends.

I mean yeah, it was great that there were a few friends who cared to share the special day with me. But somehow, I felt as if I'd had the mickey taken out of me. (And now I am asking myself, WHY am I bringing this up now??) It didn't feel like I was having a birthday; more like a free let's-insult-and-make-fun-of-Suhaila-day. Yeah, that's how I felt like. Sure, I did enjoy the moment and the atmosphere at the time, it being jolly and full of "joking" moments, but after a while, I realised that I was also hurt and disappointed.

Yeah, the boyfriend was present but he didn't stand up for me. He actually joined in the insults! Hur. Come to think of it, I think I probably forced the best fake smile ever. I felt so bloody fake. Ugh. (Now I'm questioning myself again, WHY am I bringing this up??)

I'm really sounding ungrateful aren't I? (That was rhetorical, don't answer it.) But seriously, that birthday incident has been haunting me.

Oh well.