I'm not going to elaborate on that matter but all I'll say is that, it was probably THE worst quarrel ever. (If you've ever read all the snippets of the quarrels I've had with her, you'll probably know what I mean.)

Anyhow, I didn't feel so good after that (who would?) so after watching CSI, I turned in for the night. At 11 o'clock. (Which is considered early for my screwed-up body clock.)

While I was asleep, I drifted into a wonderful dream. My mother was in it, the mother who's not the senile and anorexic woman she is now. It was my mother of long ago; healthy, sensible and beautiful.

In my dream, I was still that girl who was wearing the pastel-greenish-blue uniform to school and we were still living in the old house in Tampines. I had woken up with a fever, and my mother had told me to stay in bed as I looked pretty ill. Funnily enough, it felt so real, as if I had really woken up with a fever, although I couldn't recall whether I was supposed to go to work (as a teacher) or school (as a student). It was as if I had been caught in a warped time zone.

So finally (in the dream) I felt well enough to wake up and go to the kitchen for a meal. Mam had cooked a really delicious meal (can't remember what it was) and I brought the food back to my room. The curtains were dark blue, the colour of the huge cushion that had once adorned my room, complete with similar red patterns. I kept staring at the curtains, feeling so fascinated.

Everything was as it had been; the old wooden cupboard (that now belongs to my brother), the old bed, the old-school television that once belonged to my paternal grandfather, the massive electric sewing machine that my ibu (a maternal aunt) had given my mother.

It had felt so real. I was so happy to be with mam in that dream, save for the heaty forehead and body.

And then I woke up all of a sudden, jolted out of the beautiful nostalgia. Checked the time on my handphone. It was only 2.18 am.

Sigh.

I'm sorry, mama.