Anyway, it's officially another month once again and I think most of us would know that every first of September happens to be Teachers' Day (in this country; don't know about others out there). Ever since I joined teaching some 4 years plus back, I've always looked forward to this very day. Initially, some part of me longed for the praises and gifts from the students but after a while, I got tired. Despite this being only the fourth time that I am receiving presents and such, I still dread that feeling in my stomach -- a tight knot that ties and unties itself, constricting my thoughts and piling guilt on me.

Truth be told, there's never a day that I stop questioning my decision to enter the force. Time after time I ask myself: "Am I doing the right thing?", "Do the kids understand what I'm teaching?", "Do they enjoy learning and discovering under me?", "Have I been effective in my teaching?", "What else can I do to help my kids?", "What else have I not done to help them improve?" and the list goes on. It's scary because I have so many roles to perform all at one time. Plus, I'm accountable for my kids -- character and academic-wise. I hope and pray that they turn out to be responsible and morally-sound adults, not just being well-behaved pupils in school now.

I guess that's why I feel guilty when Teachers' Day knocks round the corner. I feel as if I've not done my best or enough for the kids. The mentality/saying that every child can learn may ring true but at the same time, does it not also depend on the methods that a teacher employs in the learning process?

And the office staff wonder why I've been sighing so much nowadays.

I love teaching and I adore the kids. I just don't love the administrative work and the emphasis on stellar exam results by certain stakeholders. Ahhh, what a utopia it would be if exams were abolished altogether! Haha, wishful thinking on my part.

Oh well. Happy Teachers' Day to all you educators out there. Hope you had an enjoyable celebration and an even better hi-tea/dinner.

I know I was touched to tears when I read the self-made cards by the ex-students. :)