Okok...1st of all...remember I told ye I'm going out with Maria? Okay that's done cos that was like yesterday (hello?? It's 4.21 am on a Sunday!~) and I not only went out with her, but also the cousin Mashitah (cool rock chick sia...don't be fooled by the kurung! Wahahahah...!) and 2 of the cousin's friends, Farzana (??) and Mariam. Easy peasy lar...okay so anyway, it was kinda cool at 1st cos there was this dk thingy and all...and I just couldn't stop gushing at the nasyids and that Kelana Purba. Oh my gawd...they're so superb! I mean, ragam dorang best sey...abeh dorangnye juara and tukang karut...makkau~ cair aku!~ Especially tukang karut yang baju yellow pakai specs tu (personally I thought he was kinda cute, haha..cos like I dunno, I have this thing now for teddy-bears? And Anjas-look-alike hair, don't forget.)...makkau...suara!!! Haiz...kat situ jugak aku bole pengsan!!! Aduh aduh aduh...I wonder how his voice is like....hm...well, I like him but then I like other people too! Har har har...and well...I dunno, but what he said yesterday yesterday (as in Friday geddit?!)...those parting words...I just cannot accept. I mean, I don't want to think about that cos like it's only been what, 3 mths since the big Bee?? And I'd like to explore new frontiers...okay that sounds kinky but I really mean it in a nice way. :> Oh well...I get on pretty fine really...I'm able to adapt? Entah eh...I kinda like adjusting? Like a chameleon? I mean, gain as many friends as possible and go out as much as possible..in big groups of korse, unless it's one-to-one with a gerlfwen...hahaha!~ Y'know the drill...no one-to-ones until after marriage. Yeah yeah yeah, my itchy big mouth shoulda have shut the hell up but then a promise is a promise and especially since it's to myself, I darn as hell want to keep it.

Hmmm...maybe my mouth has been slightly vulgar lately...oh well...it's good for the releasing-tension bit. Only when I'm alone of korse...saying such 'bad bad' words in public is a BIG no-no! Unless...you're unknown...wahahahaha! *evil grin* Geez...that's kinda whimsical 'lil me ijjit? Huh...I cannot feel that thing with him. So it's probably not gonna work out. But well, as I told one fren...keeping my options open. Younger, older, same age...whatever. Heck...maybe I might not get hitched at all. Okay then I can always matchmake myself to myself...er??? Siao. *sigh* Where is that asshole ah??? I send him note also he very the gong one never auth I think. Oren oren oren.

Okay so like, I want to search for a different book after I'm done with Wuthering Heights. Oh yah...darn I forgot to tell ye...I took a neoprint with the gerls on Thursday!! Oh...but then that's in the title, so like who cares...haha. Hmmm..okay seriously, there is something else I want to say but like...hm...okay like I know people are reading this k? I know lar...I promoted, I know. Wahahahaha...! Erm...but well, I saw someone lar rite just now...wahahahhaa...I didn't know what to think, but well, I can always have theories. *evil wink*

Which brings me to the next thing. I called up the pakcik lar as soon as I was safely in the solace of my room, with door and windows closed of korse. Can't risk having other 'spies' eavesdropping on us can I? But, back to this...I told him my theory lar. And he kinda agreed with me...but then now I changed my mind. Ye don't have to know why...I just know already. And it's not assumptions...hey! Straight from the horse's mouth...valuable sia. Hur hur hr...guess all ye like. :> Later on when I meet the pakcik for my beloved CDs, I'll tell him and all. Cos like, it's rare lar I can just talk cock about something with someone who's like ages away?? Er....ye get what I mean. Neway, our convo was stopped short cos like my phone was dead flat and I couldn't risk using the kitchen phone. Big Daddy and Grand P right there in the living room!~ Tsk...giler kappa?? Jialat jialat...eh but then eh I seriously am in love with that Tok Karut ar...makdatoknenekmoyangcucucicitlanang...suara!!!~ Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I am sooo in awe and jealous as well! He's also cute lahhh...macam teddy bear...hehehe. Eh...so many teddy bears ah that I know...hm...bole tahan jugak. Wahahaha...banyak examples tu...darn...cuma lagik muda aje...sheesh! Alah but then who cares. I still have crushes on a trillion and gazillion people (gerls included...wahahaha...am I bi???) and of korse one of 'em is my dear 'ol netpal the ******-***!!! Wahahahahah...cannot say here...cos he also got thingy in here and if he read this one entry, wahlau, I kaysiao!! Darn!~ Eh but thrilling mah...hahaha! Hmmm...let's see...I also have a crush on my dear 'ol gerl *****...now now gerl...if ye're reading this and ye think it's you...well...ok how many of my gerlfrens whom I call sometimes by a 5-letter name? Ok very easy one...y'all...guess! *evil wink* Eh but then ah, I'm straight ah...only crushes wart...cannot meh?

Crushes come and ago...but this stoopid infatuation/obsession...damn it ah, it's still bothering me. I'm like in the same exact boat as I was, always been. I knew it from the start sia. Damn it...and he purposely (I think) said about all those ladies last time just to throw me off. I'm not stoopid lar...I know when it's time for the 'R' word. Hmmm...but however hard I try to get rid of this, I just can't. I dunno...it's like, it refuses to let go. I mean, maybe I can't let go cos my mind is telling me that I can't. But then I'm trying like so hard and I still can't. What is this man? I don't want to pass up the chance of starting anew just cos I have excess baggage. Gawd...it's not the net one, it isn't the real one either. It's that stoopid 1st crush which has now mutated excessively into an alien form, called: Obsession. Argh! Help! I need a psychiatrist!

Okay and I love y'all...k bye.