...

But then again, mebbe it's cos the ending part of their names sound alike. Eh...tapi the pakcik...his is totally different. Hmmm...but this can't be real. Nahhh...it can't be THAT accurate. :> Chill, gerl, chill. There's still that faint ray of light.

...

Hey..but the pakcik's name is nearer and yet it's totally different. And the object of my obsession...it's not really the same, only the ending part, and yet...*shrugs*...and our names more or less start with the same well, y'know...and like...???!!! Warrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh! Wtf??!! So fine, I really have to be wary. So fine, I have to stay away. So fine, I have to be cautious. All so that history doesn't god-frigging repeat itself. Argh! I hate this!

----------------------------------------

Dear ------,

I suck at writing letters. I'm better at expressing my thoughts to myself but then it doesn't matter if anyone else reads them cos it's like a one whole big story book. How do I do this? Hmm...can't do what I did last time can I? Nope, can't do that one. Um...now how about if I poke and pry into your stuff? Nah...that's not nice. It's infringing on your privacy and rights. It's only human to respect and give space. Hmm...but what if I never tell you this again? Then what? Lemme think...um...it shall forever be kept secret and anyone else can guess but then unless I reveal it they won't know it. And vice-versa? Well...takes two hands to clap so I guess that should be out of the question. Dam di dam di dam di dam...this is really turning out to be one big helluva freaky letter. Now I REALLY sound like a stalker...hey, what fun! Erm...but I don't want to stalk you. And it's not like I talk to you even though I want to cos I don't know whether you'd like to talk to me too. Say...isn't that weird? Asking someone, "Hey, would you like to talk?" instead of the usual "Hey, would you like to go out this Saturday?" or "Hey, you wanna hang out?" Darn. I always miss opportunities. Never seem to make the most of them do I? Instead, I chose to remain in solitary and wait and wait for the golden chance to slip in again. What a waste I'm turning out to be. I'm a total waste. Not only am I "weird", I also seem to be a magnet for "weirdos". Huh. Sajaklah aku. Si weird dengan weirdos. Darn it again. I don't even know whether most of them are weirdos. Cos why? Cos I just turn them away. I just refuse to let anyone else in. Dam di dam di dam di dam...more evidence of my obsessiveness? But I'm only obsessed with you... :< Ugh! I'm pathetic! I want to snap out of this but I can't. I really can't. I'm a pathetic, self-absorbed whiner...I'm a loser...I'm a totally down-and-out low-esteemed bitch...and yeah, I keep complaining about this by and by. I know that and yet I choose to do it because I find it extremely therapeutic. So buzz off!

----------------------------------------

I guess all efforts to "write a letter" to him has gone down the drain. *shrugs* Oh well...how about if I write about something else? I dunno, something else. Like, okay...like a list of why cats and dogs always fight? Or, or...a list of how to stalk someone? Or...how to be the Number 1 most unpopular kid in school? Hmmm...I might just generate that kinda list...wait up a couple of days more okay? Sure...I might just do it. Did a stoopid list of why my O.O.O would not even take a look at me, so what's a couple of stoopid lists more?

See ya.