I want to go watch a movie. Any movie will do as long as it isn't too lovey-dovey nor war-like. I didn't mind Braveheart nor M*A*S*H nor that Good Morning Vietnam but I didn't like Saving Private Ryan nor Pearl Harbour. Bore-ing! *yawn* I don't know why...there's just this expectation of war movies that turns me off. Which is why I won't be too thrilled if anybody asks me to watch those two new war movies. Bleah.

I'm running out of things to say. Mental block. Writer's block. I haven't even continued that stoopid cerpen. I threw away the previous one that I was working on cos it was sappy. I thought it was too sappy after I read it so many times to correct it. Sappy. Sappiness sucks. I don't like sappiness. And I hate crybabies. There's a crybaby in class. Or several rather, cos I'm spotting potential crybabies. Stoopid crybabies. This particular crybaby isn't like the other Syaza. My Syaza is a toughie. She likes to joke. And laugh. And smile. And hug. And now she has a new china-doll-like hairdo which I don't really like. I prefer her hairdo last year. It was Amelia Jane-like. Very naughty-looking but classy. Now her hairdo is sorta messy. But she still looks cute. And oh... I miss Syairah, my favourite kid. She's a pupil leader now cos I nominated her. She deserves it so don't accuse me of showing favouritism cos I know how to value the potential ones. Hah!

I need more ghost stories. I need more money. I need more free time. I need more water. I need to see the doctor. I need to get a life. I need to buy me something nice. I need a quick selection of b.p.i cos time is running out. I need to stock up on the girl thing. I need to buy formal pants. I need more track pants. I need more formal and PE blouses. I need more socks. I need more bandannas. I need chocolate. I need more time to complete my CA papers. Argh!

What do I need? What do I want? Please help me to identify. I already know the answers cos they're pretty obvious but I'm just too pampered and spoilt for choice. I want people to tell me. Please!

I needed that. I remember... A. Lim used to give us our daily dosage of mental vitamins. It seemed silly and a waste of paper to me initially, but after a while it kinda helped the brain to overcome barriers. Sorta like my daily dose of psycho treatment. Does going to the shrink really help? I gotta consult Shaz on this. She's going back on the 15th of this month. Does her email still exist? Would she be online much?

Somehow, I don't think so.

Now I feel like boasting. Yeah, I know I told the class that boasting is just plain showing off but I don't care. This is my diary and I'm jolly well going to do as I please here. So there. =p (Childish aren't I? You're free to respond. It's your bloody choice.)

Fatimah first told me when we were in Sec 2. Of course I was just being naughty cos I was so into memorising lyrics instead of facts and formulae at that time. I was so naughty that my grades suffered as a result. It didn't help that I thought our Geog teacher looked like a stick. She didn't just look like one. She was one. In fact I think she still is. And there were too frequent changes of Eng teachers. My favourite subject suffered too.

Somehow, when I got the compliment again, I was mildly but pleasantly surprised. I have been trying to maintain that calm exterior so that I won't appear ruffled and what-not. But at times there are moments when I just have to let my hair down. Or let go. Or blow my trumpet. Or just be plain silly. Sometimes I'm so sick of being calm cos it's like, it will stick on forever. Not like I don't like it, I most certainly do. But I wish to be flexible and right now I don't think I'm that flexible yet. Oh, I don't know. I can adapt but I take too long to adapt. Chameleons do change colour you know.

But I'm no chameleon.