CNY is coming soon and I can't wait. Cos I want to see Huda in her pink cheongsam. Did I mention pink? Oh yes, I sure did. It's pink to the max, but it's a nice pink. Not too pinky, and not too flashy. Just pink. The cheongsam was bought yesterdayabouts, at the chinese shop where I used to buy my pants and tops. It was going for approximately 40 bucks, which is affordable and cheap as compared to those other tailor-made cheongsams. I've specifically told her to wear it on Monday so that we can go out and admire it. Har har. Told pakcik already, and if God is willing, we shall go out CNY eve.

By the way, the cashier was cute. *grin*

I seem to be losing my touch. What's wrong with me? I'm just not getting it anymore. Where is my sense of my humour? Okay, did I even have it in the first place? Or was I just kidding myself? Or am I just getting too big for my boots? Argh! I'm getting obese! I'm obscene! I'm horrible! I'm fat!

(stare)

Get a grip gerl. What the hell is wrong with you?! You're fine aight. You're loved by your kids, you love 'em too, that's the bottomline. Period.

And yes, I'm finally surfing the crimson tide...hurrah.

I did the unthinkable yesterday. T'was the first day so it was unbearably painful. I didn't know why, and I still don't, but it got to me. I had trouble going on as normal cos it was like getting a heart attack. All of a sudden there I was clasping at my stomach, though technically it wasn't tummyache. And with all due respect, please blame the hormones in me, not the person herself? Thank you. So I got pretty menacing, albeit I wasn't shouting. No I wasn't. I just threatened them in my most calm and composed voice, and it struck me that they were really scared. And when I just walked out, I could sense doom coming all over them.

"See what you've done?" "Keep quiet!" "Sit down-lah!" "..."

When I returned (from a little restroom visit), they were amazingly still. A dead silence hung and hovered in the air. I could even hear myself breathe. Fantastic.

"Are you going to show me your respect?"

(noddings)

"Are you going to give me your fullest and utmost attention?"

(more noddings)

"Are you going to listen?"

(more and more noddings)

"Can I continue now without any interruptions?"

(a choruses of "yes")

There you go. Completely in control. Who said you needed to shout to be the leader?

So while they were quietly completing their corrections or doing the next compo, Ting Yi came up to me and revealed something which I wasn't sure was for real or just a whole mask of pretence. Just trying to keep the convo going though I was acutely in pain, I just uttered, "Why?"

To my complete amazement, she didn't reply. I urged again and this time, I clearly saw tears flowing silently from the sides of her eyes. I was so touched that I myself let out some tears, and I gave her a hug. Good girl. Definitely one of my favourite kids, though she doesn't know it. Kept asking me my age though. And who were the "favourite children in this class". I just smiled and refused to budge.

I love my kids.