And then I got the impression that I scared off some people because they kept avoiding me and/or they refused to talk or make eye contact. I mean, well, the least they could do was smile but nooo...not even a twitch of the mouth.

And then I knew that they were scared of me because it finally showed in their faces whenever they were around me. It was as if I had A Disease and it was airborne. Hah. But then I found out that they were afraid of my seemingly meek outward persona. *chuckle*

I guess quiet people tend to burst more violently than the noisy ones. Aye?

I remember some occasions whereby I was forced to hang out with Miss NR. It was simply because we had a mutual friend. In my case, she was my partner, sitting next to me in class and sharing with me her secrets. I don't know whether or not to term her a "best friend" because I don't believe in best friends. She was a very good friend and we were pretty close. NR was quite close to her too, but somehow I sensed that my friend wasn't too keen on her. I don't know, maybe I got that impression but for all I know, she might not have been keen on either NR or me.

Anyhow, my friend started telling me things, things that were none-the-pleasing about NR and then I noticed NR avoiding me. Not only did she avoid me, she also tried to create a wall between the friend and myself. I didn't mind not spending a lot of time with my friend, because I knew NR wanted to spend some time with her as well. In any case, I had my other classmates to share a joke or two with. We were pretty close, us girls in the class.

Not too long later however, the friend confided in me that she was getting sick and tired of NR and soon began the excuses to her, stating that she had other things to do, she wasn't free for lunch or whatever, and yada yada. In a way I felt sorry for NR but on the other hand, I couldn't help enjoying myself. Sadistic, but that's me. I mean, I totally liked the look on her face whenever she got turned down.

She got herself another friend however, who wasn't exactly that pleased either. Let's just say that it's not me nor my friend nor the class.

It was just her.

Looking back, I realised how childish and insensitive I had been. I think I am still childish and still insensitive but their levels have somewhat decreased to make way for a maturing persona.

I somehow knew that NR felt hurt and that she was afraid of me, but I couldn't shake off that sadism. I thought she deserved it for all her whining. Maybe I didn't feel for her or I was cold but yeah, I think she really deserved it. She found herself a beefy boy some years later anyway. So at least she had someone to console her in her later years. *smirk*

"Well don't break my heart..my achy breaky heart.."

Haha, I love a rainy night!